Category: Dating and Relationships
Oh okay, not sure how to post this but here goes. What would you do if you were married, flat out committed to the wify but met a hot ass man or woman. Making this gender nutral, Lst you wanted to "cut a rug with her" but it took all you had to hold back because you wanted to stay faithful. Before you go, the person your with thinks you did something, with that hot person.
bla I ment "before I go" dam.
Okay, I've never had a problem staying faithful to a woman. In fact, I've never even been tempted; hard to believe but true. You are assuming that the readers of this post are shallow. Yes, we are all human but seriously if you find yourself tempted you are not fully commited after all.
my advice would be dont give in to the temptation. The grass is never greener. Talking from personal experience.
I'm not married, and I seriously doubt that I'll ever be maried, but I find this question being asked all over the place, sometimes with different wording, but still... It makes me wonder just how happy these married people really are. Obviously the desire is there, and the spouce knows it. What's that old saying from the bible,? Something about, if a man looks at a woman with lust, he's already commited adultery with her, in his heart. Whether it actually happened or not, the spouce is picking up on some pretty strong vibes. There ought to be a counter question here. If your spouce is extremely attracted to someone else, how do you deal with any insecurity issues that might arise? If your spouce is on the virge of being unfaithful and you know it, are you the bad person for being insecure about it?
suzy I so agree... "can I tell ya" temptation so can paly with ya all day long!!
Heck, I think I would and say I didn't.
Bob
I agree with some of the other posters. Don't give in to the temptation. Honestly I think if you gavve in, went out with the person that you thought was hot, he or she may not be the best person in the world to have. Just stay with the one you're with. you're better off that way I think
it's simple really.
If you're attracted to someone else to the extent you want to cheat on your partner, end the relationship you're in first before embarking on something with someone else.
Oh boy, this is a biggie! I say every situation is different and every relationship is too. You have to look at these factors and also listen to your heart. If your heart says you want to be with your partner, then stop talking to this hot person, removing the temptation.
Ah but if you are in a relationship you shouldn't have to sit and make that choice.
If it's an open relationship, it should be agreed upon long before temptation arises. I don't think it's right or fair or loving for a partner to say, i've found someone that I'm wanting to play with, so you can either accept it or leave. And I don't believe in hiding stuff from your partner, so...
I agree with Michelle. a and I also agree with anthony as well
Floppy's right. each relationship is different. What one couple might consider an act of cheating, might be perfectly fine with another couple. I just think the rules should be set before temtation arises. For example, if both parties agree that it's only cheating if it's physical contact, but cybering is not cheating, then go for it. Honesty is key here. As long as everyone involved knows what's up and are okay with it, that's what matters most. I know more than one couple where one partner likes to watch the other partner be with someone else.
Agree with both.
My apologies for the wording, but this sounds like a case of lust. The fact that you're tempted to do something with someone that is not your spouse because they are hot really doesn't have much to do with having emotional feelings for them, although it can certainly lead to that if you let it go that far. And as far as temptation, we are all human, and even if we have the happiest marriage on Earth, temptation is always a danger, because as long as we are in our flesh, we will always be tempted in one way or another. That's not to say, however, that temptation can't be overcome. In fact, we should always do what we can to fight against giving in to something that isn't good for us, such as cheating on a spouse. And if it's gotten to the point where your spouse has noticed something about the way you act or look at said person, then ou know it's time to look away. If that person is somebody that you know or come in contact with on a regular basis, then don't ever put yourself in a posision where you could be tempted to go further than you intend.
Sex and commitment are 2 different things. Sex is for the minute or time you are having sex, and you need to repeat that feeling. Commitment is the thing you have with or without sex. Sex doesn't make you like or love the person you are with less if the relationship is strong and there are not problems. It is possible to have great sex with your wife and want sex with someone else. It is possible to have a great, loving relationship, but want sex from someone else. I'd own up to my wife and say I want sex with this woman. Yes, I know, that might cause jealousy and such things, but honesty is what great relationships are built on. You have that sex and you get over it, because you have a strong relationship at home. I do have to say that others are correct in most cases. You aren't getting enough or variety at home maybe. Some couples swing, and other bring the extra home. If you get some outside you need to sit down and decide if you cand allow her to get some too. You can't have it all alone, or "I can do this, but you better not." If you can deal with her getting some from that hot guy, then talk it over and get some. The rules say you don't tell what you got though.
There is a verse in the Bible that says something like a husband and wife can agree to separate for a time, than come back together. I sometimes wonder if this verse covers this issue. Its not unusual, special for men.
Thankyou musicgirl. This is certainly a case of lust.
The bible says that if a couple should separate, it is best for them to be alone than commit adultery, just to sum it up. "To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife." (
1 Corinthians 7:10)
Sex is something that God created for a married couple, although a lot of people don't choose to view it as such anymore. Sex is not a casual thing to have with anyone that you feel like at any given time. When you marry, you make a commitment to your partner to be theirs in all the aspects.. physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.. The word adultery exists for a reason, and this happens precisely when a person strays outside of their marriage to be with somebody else. If a person isn't ready to be faithful to their spouse in everything it takes, they shouldn't say they are ready to make such a commitment in the first place.
That wasn't the verse I was talking about, but you have them correct. Now if a husband and wife agree that she or he can have someone else it is not adultry. It is done in agreement. Normally if you have it at home, variety, and all, you don't feel the need to have it outside, but if something is lacking and you should not devorce, than seems to me an agreement is best. Sex is sex, love is totally different. In the world however, it is best to divorce and go your way, and commit adultry. Its just simpler, but if you can agree it works. I find there are so many other aspect to a relationship than the sex that make it worth keeping. Sure the sex is a major part, but you can have sex and not love a person at all. It can be great sex too, but after you are out of bed you can get along otherwise. If he must, own up, and settle the issue. Other cultures and religions allow a man to have more than one wife. Maybe this is partly the reason. They say it is to keep a woman from being alone, and I can understand this. I didn't create this, but many men have this issue, and so if he has variety at home maybe this helps.
In America he is only allowed one wife, so instead of adultery I say sit down and see if he can make an agreement.
Well, actually, when a man decides to have sex outside of marriage, he breaks the marriage ties and his wife is free to divorce him. Unfortunately for a lot of people, God mmade the laws of marriage, not us. No, sex is definitely not the only thing in a relationship, but it is a way for a man and woman to come together and express their love for each other.
Well I no longer talk to this person, and I feel its for the best, and as for lust, ya it was. Did any thing happen physically! no and not wurth the price that I would have to pay.
Do we really need to turn to the Bible for such a basic, common sense situation?
I wouldn't think so. But since someone else decided to mention it, it was just clarification. I'm glad to hear you worked out our situation, starfly.
As am I.